For a long time I was insecure with my voice. I didn’t have a problem speaking publicly or performing but I would always cringe watching the playback. Talking to other artist I realize this might be a feeling that doesn’t go away. Maybe it is that raw venerable place we go to when we create something from nothing. I was listening to one of my favorite podcast “Small Doses” with Amanda Seales, the episode was titled “Side Effect of Being an Artist” in the podcast she talks about how being an artist is like giving birth. Art is life. When you produce something from nothing and that something goes out in the world to be seen and heard and start conversations and inspire other artwork. And that is scary.
But there is nothing to it but to do it. A lot of fear stems from judgement of others and also wanting to be accepted and liked. I want respect. Respect for just having the nerve and courage to do things that not everyone can do. The squirm in my stomach my never go away, but it is not going to stop me or make me delete.